Moving on?

Moving on... Not just leaving behind someone I loved dearly, no I mean actually moving on. Leaving the state and all my friends and some family behind. Starting over brand new right when I thought I had it figured out, but truth is I never had it figured out. I never truly had a "plan" for what I wanted in the future or what I wanted in my present. My only plan was no plan I didn't plan on making it this far, I didn't plan on seeing myself graduate and possibly go to college. Waking up everyday of my senior year is a new experience and a new adventure, an adventure that was un planned and mysterious. I'm currently walking in the dark hoping that I don't fall off a ledge or run into a tree on my way to the door of life. 

Who am I?

To my future, yeah you got this 

To my past, man you yeah rocked this.

Got me to my standing 

Ignored all the troubles reprimanded 

Holden up my own in a world so all alone.

Grasses over grown, but I still my confidence is shown

Pointless writing and endless bore.

I'm still struggling to find who I am.

Searching for a true passion something I completely adore

Ballerina break down.

A Barbie is seen as the model of a perfect woman, but no one takes into account the "perfect or imperfect" personality she(he) may have. By decorating the inside of the box with dark "ugly" things; I wanted people to see past the perfect image on the outside. I'm was playing off the cliché "it's what inside that counts", but I want a more negative reaction. Instead of "beauty on the inside" I wanted "beauty on the outside" doesn't mean being beautiful inside. 

This project drove me nuts. I was so excited about it and was only moderately impressed with the final results. I ran into many problems, but the biggest problem being the door. How could I get the door to swing open with the tabs still in place? Long story short I couldn't. I tried using a     hand sander the thin to shorten the edges of the tabs, but that only ripped up the wallpaper and made the paint chip. Along with the door itself the wall paper on the entire box began to peel off. If I had a chance to re do this project I would defiantly remove the tabs from the door and replace the wall paper with hand painted design. 

I stick by my message and my general idea, but I definitely learned new ways/new techniques when it comes to what will and will not work with my projects. 

Critical

I'm not sure what to think about this "leak" of Jared Leto as The Joker. The first original Joker from the 1940s was meant to be a Clown and not the twisted,heartless character they depict him as today. So to compare the two seems almost obsolete. In my personal opinion I prefer the new aged more sadistic Character the joker has become. The first actor to ever really portray The Joker as sadistic was Health Ledger in 2008 and even then he was criticized harshly for the Giant leap from clown to escaped mental patient. Although at first Ledger was Criticized he is now known as one of the best portrayals of The Joker to date. Much like Ledger Leto Is also being criticized for the sheer amount differences. Although until the actual "Suicide Squad" in released there is no true way to properly judge Letos portrayal, but one may hope that he can knock it out of the park just as Ledger did.  

Work in Progress

I sat on my bed and looked at the pages of my diary... Empty.. Again.

My life was boring plain and simple. I flipped through my diary.. The most eventful thing in my life was the time I dropped my pencil in math class and almost got thrown out for getting up "um excused". 

I sighed.. I needed something eventful to fill the empty pages and the void in my heart. 

"Jessica! Dinners ready!!" My mother chimed

I got off my bed and tossed my diary on to my desk; no need to hide it.

"I'm coming!" I said 

"Dinner smells amazing honey" said dad after kissing my mothers cheek. 

"I made everyone's favorite!" Mother smiled setting a steaming plate of meatloaf on the table.

"Again?" I mumbled under my breath.

"What was that?" Asked mother.

"Nothing. It just looks delicious!" I said putting on a fake smile. 

"Thank you sweetie"

Mother sat down at the table and took father and I's hands. 

"Dear Heavenly Father please bless this meal we are about to receive." 

I rolled my eyes; I'd never been a huge fan of religion, but mother insisted that to ensure a good future I had to have a "healthy relationship with the Holy Spirit". 

"Amen" I played along.

Aware.

 Since I was younge I would excell in my art classes and struggle in actual academics. Although today I don't consider my art work (drawn, painted or sculpted) to be of the best quality, I find my ideas behind them facinating. Inspired by my dreams I create peices of writing that Id like to call "unique". I find that no one can truly see into my mind, because I have a difficult time putting my feeling into words. 

When I write it's like I can turn the chosen character into a make believe version of myself. I can take thoughts and emotions in my mind and turn them into actions and key plot points in a chosen characters life. My writeing(art) means to me as a diary means to a trouble teen it's my voice written in code. A story that comes off confusing to others, yet speaks the true words inside my head. I can speak my mind behind the thoughts of another and no one can judge me, for actions that aren't my own. I'm influenced by my readers opinions and my superiors critice. The best quality in a reader is the ability to see between the lines

Failure